Jesus Christ changed my life.
I grew up in a Christian home. We went to church and we served every Sunday. But, I never really knew Jesus. I just went through life thinking that church was an obligation and that I didn’t need Jesus. Then, I went to middle school and my life got harder. I didn’t have many friends, I was the opposite of popular, and many of my old friends didn’t want to be friends anymore.
I started becoming extremely self-conscious, and day by day I found myself slipping deeper into a pit of insecurities. I’d wonder what was so wrong with me that no one wanted to be around me.
I began to hate myself. I hated my personality and my body. Over time, it just got progressively worse, especially with some experiences that completely crushed what little self-esteem I had. I became a mess- I couldn’t even look into a mirror without hating what I saw. And it just spiraled and spiraled until it reached its absolute worst. By the beginning of the summer in 2017, I had hit rock bottom and I knew that I couldn’t do this anymore.
I couldn’t live like that anymore.
But I didn’t know how to “fix myself.” Like any teenager would do when faced with a problem they can’t fix, I turned to Google. I don’t know how, but I stumbled across a devotional that focused on the question I had plagued me for three years, “Am I enough?” .
The pressure is off. It’s not up to us to be worthy; it’s on God. He’s the Savior. The Artist. The wielder of paint and brush in your life. And his work is worth far more than a mere hundred million.
So slip off your shoes. You’re stepping onto holy ground.
I am with you, He says.
I have chosen you, He reassures.
He is—so you are—enough.”
(Michelle Cushatt, I Am: A 60 Day Journey to Knowing Who You Are Because of Who He Is)
Reading those words, it was like God had come down, wrapped me up in his arms, and comforted every fear and doubt I had and replaced them with his unending love and mercy.
It transformed my life.
I was on fire for the Lord. I couldn’t believe how much He loves me. He showed me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Jesus comforted me through all of my hard times and He raised me up and loved me through it all. He taught me that my weaknesses made Him strong and He is sufficient for me. He pulled me out of the pit I was living in and every day he makes me love him more and more. It’s a journey that is far from over, but I am so in awe of my Savior and thankful that He found me in my darkness and pulled me into his light.